Grey Hazey Summer Days, Grey Hazey Dummer Ways

August 16th, 2007

     There are times when even the most selfishly lonely of us become all and out bummed by long tedious hot and mostly rainy days like today in Austin, Texas–as anywhere, there is the  short termed joy of the unlikely good of each day.  And then, there is the look-into-it-a-little-closer and realize, say, that the siding is ripped off of the back side of the house, and all this wet stuff comes soaking inside and lands like a mud puddle on pudding, and no one’s there but me to clean it up.  And today, I am caught in some sort of a inertia-like need  to simply sit and express my ineptitude, instead of just plain old– get down and dirty-doing it; What ever it is that needs to be done.  And one look around the Sauerosa says,’ girl, get off your old fat ass and work. The maid ain’t gonna show and the creek is gonna rise, for sure. ‘ 

     ” Things do pile up,” but this is beyond ridiculous ,and today there is no one here to laugh with or at me.  It’s just me and (ironically enough) this damn computer screen trying to develop a lasting relationship, which is doomed from the start.  It smells fear, and reacts accordingly, with a unfazed receptive non-disclosure contractual attitude that makes things seem ever so much worse than they could possibly be.  And the ever present, non -emotional, but never friendly drone, that is heard every where here, that comes from this and all it’s brothers through-out the house; But rules as King in the study here.  It calls to the ants. It passes for “ringing in the ear…” and I will stop before it does.  Sometimes, I sing to myself to over-ride it’s distracting haze.  I am thinking and hoping, that somewhere in front of someone’s desk top, is a person like me.  having a hard time ignoring the sound, and this modern blather it brings with it, and that person is also blaming  all of their troubles, stacked neatly, and rationally, one upon the other, on and over the top of this persistence and pestering promiscuous intrusion on one’s privacy.  Do you hear it?

Again, what’s wrong with this picture?

August 12th, 2007

    Yesterday I wrote a piece on what ever it was, but it offended my husband; And in-order to promote cordial cooperation and an ambiance of a positive nature, I “scrubbed it.” (That’s ‘space kid’ talk for cancelling what was written, as this was the phrase used when a launch was delayed or not to be back in the old days of the Space.)  Again-may I remind you that I grew up a “military brat” mostly off Cocoa Beach, close to the peninsula that was known as Cape Canaveral, where all the ICBM’s were tested.  Back then when we moved to the area, in 1956, all defensive weapon-missiles, and conceptual Space Travel, etc. was handled strictly by the military.  It was much later when  private company’s entered into the mix, co-existing with the military when this made sense (example: IBM, Philco-Ford handled the computer stations, etc.) creating what we know today as NASA.  In the very beginning of the 50’s, the military branches started ‘fixing up’ that area, which was a virtual paradise and practically uninhabited by people then.  When we first arrived, our family stayed in a very small apartment right on the beach.  My brother and I used to ‘go play’, by the water, having promised not to go in with out adult supervision, we never mention the many coral snakes that shared our play space usually traveling in two’s, but they were there.  We knew they were lethal, but were not aggressive, but I do remember a couple times having to jump over them on the way to where ever we were going, as we did not see them until we were pretty close to them.  My mother would have had a fit and a half had she known.

By the way, My husband and daughter  and I went back to look at the old ‘home-place’ of Cocoa Beach, years later (1986?) and I found the whole area unrecognizable –but there was some relationship visually to Disney World, where we were vacationing officially;we just decided to take a side trip in hopes of witnessing a Space Shuttle launch, which was scrubbed on that day. So we headed back for Orlando, where it wasn’t as crowded and disconcerting as my old haunts, strange as that seems.

     Back when we first moved to the Cape in the mid-fifties, the Army Core of Engineering dug regularly-spaced, handy canals, and cleared miles of fields of “Palmetto Plants”, the indigenous palm-tree-like ground cover, which were mostly burned to make building possible. Oh, the stench and the smoke !n the best of times, those.  There were enormous fields of them, when we first moved there, with nary a person in sight. A most impressive, enormous ediface was under construction at that time -a research facility overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, built to withstand huge tidal waves and hurricanes. (We experienced two hurricanes while stationed there. (way cool…we had to evacuate and stay on the mainland, where it was safer during those hurricanes.)   But the place where the actual missiles were  launched was not open to civilians, of course, and was located a good 15-20 miles from base at the “cape,” a peninsula off the one on which our housing was-located.  It was north-northeast of the Base, and an easy sight when lounging around the beach.   Patrick Air Force Base, which was in existence before all the excitement, became quite a hub for all branches of the services.  It was my father’s job to make every one (Army, Navy, Air Force) get along and communicate—no easy job that, as there was quite allot of competition and altercations between said divisions, as one can imagine, and it was absolutely imperative that they work together to achieve success in this very important cold war endeavor.

     What I remember as most strange and unusual about this place and time in my life as a child (we moved there when I was 9 years old) was the actual experience of being near where the missiles were launched-there is nothing so completely over whelming as when the ground shook like an earth quake and the noise of lift off was louder than anything I’d ever heard before. Nothing could possibly compare to that totally encompassing experience of being near lift off in the beginning of the Space Program.  Your world literally shook and you couldn’t hear your own screaming.  In the beginning there were many on going problems getting those dang things off the ground, so it was not uncommon to experience this bizarre occurrence twice a week.  No wonder allot of the wild life moved away.  It was scary as the concept of Hell, if you didn’t know what was going on during launch.   But after awhile it was just part of the deal and became a quite a normal part of our life–no biggie.

      When we moved there I attended the nearest public elementary school ( I was in the 4th grade at the time) which was on the mainland (a good 45 min. drive – one way by school bus) into the city of Melbourne, in what used to be a military hospital, very isolated with a playground that went on for miles, it seemed. It was built somewhat on stilts off of the ground, I’m guessing to avoid flooding, etc.  But the place between the ground and underneath the old building there made quite a good hiding place for many a critter, and seemed dark and mysteriously vile.  This was definitely the swamps.  But  in the front of the school was an enormous tree that had strange long 4 pieced leather like extensions that hung together and fell to the ground, of which we learned to make into bracelets and such,when woven together, while waiting for our bus to show up in the afternoon.  Our bus driver was this (at the time I thought) “OLD LADY” (looking back, she was probably in her late 40’s) who brought along her retarded daughter, who was part of the “special ed” class, that had their class room in a separate -but on site building, along side of the old hospital that was our school. I was more or less friends with her, and I didn’t mind sitting in back of her and her mother near the drivers seat of the bus.  Each morning’s routine was to watch that special Ed- class and it’s teacher march the “special ed” students (who were supposed to gather first thing in the morning in the back porch of our elementary school until they were all together and accounted for) from whence they were taken in a neat single file line back to their classroom, where their day began.  For some unknown reason it was held in a seperate ajoining building to the east of Melbourne Elementary back then

     Then there was that “really special- ed” day when an 8-10 foot long alligator  charged out from under this building, looking for his ‘special ed breakfast’, that broke the monotony of our whole school’s routine, no question about it.  Now, this was way long before gators were considered “endangered”, and in fact that seems like a contradiction in terms, especially to said special-ed students.  But we were a hardy bunch those days and were fast runners, even these special-ed students, who managed to dodge this dangerous enormous beast by taking off in different directions tout sweet, I kid you not … I have never seen kids run that fast for any reason , as clearly the kids were the one’s endangered when this dang thing snapped it’s jaws and hurdled itself here and there, trying to catch up to one of these kids, who usually went  so slowly in a single filed line.  Of course little problems  like this were handled by bored M.P.s, who were called into the rescue.  I got to watch them take down this critter during our class’s  usual reading session, if I remember correctly.

  Nothing like a few armed uniformed soldiers and their biggest caliber rifles for taking care of business, as they successfully did that day. Too bad they didn’t go for the Nike missiles, which were so much more fun to watch … and the soldiers probably could have used the practice too … guess it was too near the school for such sport. That was one big gator!

     This is my daughter’s favorite story from my youth, and I’m guessing if I told this one to my psychiatrist/psychologist he would think me even more delusional than he does, poor guy.  But it’s the truth and nothing but the truth, I swear by all that is Holy to me.  No wonder I’m bored as they get these days, especially with all this coding cordial cooperation and ambiance of a positive nature. It just doesn’t seem natural. And it isn’t natural. It is said ” You’ got to take the good with the bad.”

What's wrong with this picture:

August 11th, 2007

     

My Mom, (May God rest her soul) had one of the best ethereal attitudes ever; also, this did not go unnoticed

August 8th, 2007

One of the problems of having an unusual historical background, as many military brats and/or (as in my case)”Space Kids” did, is the necessity for being discrete, which is learned from experience, as well as taught and repeatedly reminded by one’s parents to keep your little smart-assed mouth shut on many sensitive subjects; many having to do with my father’s work as a research scientist in the Air Force, not that this sort of thing was openly discussed in our home. But I do remember my Dad talking on the phone, using code words for certain aspects of his work , etc. that I or anyone else were not supposed to “get.” I got to where I did “get” them, but knew to ignore this and in general (no pun intended) feared repercussions from my parents enough, to say nothing of the powers that were, in those days, to obey this objective. I mean, how many times do you have to watch an Atlas Missile explode due to some predicted mistake in the trajectory, or whatever, with the pieces raining down like massive schrapnel, some times near enough over the beach where my brother and I played, to scare the merde out of two 9 and 11 year old kids, but to also and with out question, instill the absolute serious need for discipline and following orders?

Of course, for those who keep up with the Space Program (and believe me this is REAL…don’t be taken in by nay-Sayers or conspiracy-theory-types claiming the moon walk was at a TV studio. We were there to witness the sequential reality of this progression. Just because you are too young or don’t know anyone involved in the real deal when this occurred, don’t be fooled into that trap of the non-believer. It took wonderfully dedicated, hardworking, knowledgeable people working together, to make the improbable happen–and not only those directly involved, but with the cooperation of those good peoples’ families as well. We learned to act as a co-operative team in order to protect and participate as much as we could to protect my father’s career and national security, even us little “military brats.”

One aspect of all this was the constant security checks on various important players by the FBI, which was to be expected, especially during those cold war times of the 50’s and 60’s. For example, as my parents were determined to get my brother and me in the best possible public schools in the area where my father was stationed, we some times lived off base. It was not uncommon for our neighbors to be questioned as to both their and our activities by el Feds, and indeed this was some times quite an amusing activity for us. I am remembering my mother’s wonderfully authoritative attitude, and astonishing ridiculous outfit during one of these FBI visitations. She and I were home, doing house work (believe it or not sometimes I helped), and at that time she had a very chic “poodle cut” hair-do, that was quite difficult to maintain. As she was trying to protect her hair, she regularly did what she remembered seeing her parents’ maid do in similar situations: mainly; this involved wearing one’s shabbiest clothes and old underpants over the hair-do, to keep her hair out of her face, and protected from household chemicals. We were in the middle of some serious house cleaning, she in that outfit (complete with the underpants on the head- and this time rubber gloves) when the door bell rang. I am remembering this being mid-morning, and her being highly annoyed at this intrusion into her time.

So she got off her knees and straightened her posture and puts on her typical superior, yet calm facial expression only used for those times when she was really pissed off at being interrupted, or totally annoyed by some idiocy impeding her progress, and went to answer the door, as the caller was persistent in ringing the door bell multiple times. She opened the door to an obvious FBI agent. Said FBI agent having not expected such a reception from the lady of the house, stood silent with his mouth partially open, speechless at this unexpected continence before him. Instantly realizing the situation, my mother very cordially asks, in a very upper classed manner in spite of her ‘get-up’, under pants and all, ” Good Morning, how can I help you?” After a few empty measures the agent, remembered his purpose and continued with his interview with my mother as she gave very dignified answers to his inquiry. This lasted a few minutes after which, Mom shut the door and gave me a look meaning, ” how dare he interrupt me”(this look including the raising of one eye brow and out take of breath in a huff) and she went back to work. I remember being unable to control my laughter, which she joined in on only having broken character then, when I pointed to her unique headgear. We actually ended up howling with laughter on the newly clean floor.

I always wondered what that FBI agent wrote about us in that interview. And this story continues to this day, some 50 years later, to be one of my favorite memories of my Mother.

Maybe that’s how the “X-files” got started?

Keep smiling, as ever,

Kay Buena